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Left alone with Tina and the babe, Donal turned on the charm. “So, yer Elle’s sister. Do ye sing?” he asked.
Tina rolled her eyes, he got the idea that she didn’t like that question, “Only to myself,” she said.
“The bairn may like to hear ye.” He made some funny faces at the babe and when his eyes returned to Tina’s face, she was looking at him with a mixture of pity and kindness.
“You’re going to have to give her a name. We can’t keep calling her the bairn,” she observed.
“I agree. What shall we call ye, sweetling?” Almost without thinking, he took the babe from Tina’s arms and cradled her, searching her face and wondering what name might suit her. She smiled up at him, melting his heart as he placed his finger in her hand. He was amazed at her strength as she pulled on it. Of course she was strong, she was his daughter. That thought brought an unexpected surge of pride and a tiny bit of peace to him. This was his daughter, his responsibility and he would do his best to take care of her. He turned his attention back to Tina, who seemed to be lost in thought. With the right woman by his side, perhaps this very one, he could be a good Da. Not a Da like his own had been. His had never paid much attention to Donal or his brothers and sisters. He wanted to be a Da like Robert or the brothers. They were strong warriors, with beautiful wives from the future. They seemed as comfortable spending time with their bairns as a woman did and still commanded respect from the men.
Tina sat in the chair by the hearth and Donal placed the little one in her lap. She bounced her up and down on her knee until the wee lass giggled uncontrollably.
“She really is sweet and happy,” Tina said. He watched as she looked up, obviously thinking. “I’ve got it. I’ve been helping Elle come up with names for her baby when it’s born, so I’ve been looking at all the baby name books.”
He nodded, eager to hear what she would say and surprised to hear there were such things as baby name books.
“I keep thinking what a happy baby she is, but more than that when I look into her eyes, she has a wisdom there, like she’s an old soul. She knows things. What about Elena? It means shining light or bright one.”
“’Tis good,” he nodded. Tina was right. It was the perfect name for his daughter. He squatted down in front of them, gazing into his daughter’s face. He’d never placed much importance on names, but he could see it was crucial to give a bairn a proper name. Tina had chosen well. “Elena… Elena McCabe.”
“Do you like it?” she asked, seeming unsure of herself. “I’m sure she’ll be a shining light in your life.”
“Aye. She will be Elena.”
“And what do you think, little Elena?” she questioned the babe.
“Mama,” Elena said.
The lass seemed startled. “Oh, my.”
“She called ye mama,” Donal said. “She thinks yer her Ma.”
“I doubt that,” Tina said.
“Mama,” Elena repeated.
“Well, that’s okay. She’ll find out soon enough I’m not her Mama.” She turned Elena to face Donal. “Who’s that?” she asked.
“Can ye say Da?” Donal asked.
Elena let loose with a stream of unrecognizable words in reply.
“Da,” Donal said again.
“Da,” she repeated.
“Aye. I’m yer Da!” She’d called him Da. After a moment of elation, he sobered. He was fooling himself. He couldn’t be her Da. He had no room in his life for a bairn or a wife.
“Is something wrong?” Tina asked.
He shook his head, sitting down across from her.
“Something is definitely wrong. This has got to be such a shock to you.”
It was, but not for the reason she thought.
“I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now. Finding out your wife is dead and her parents just leaving you with the baby out of the blue. Why would they do that?”
“She’s my bairn,” was all he could manage to muster.
“Of course. And that’s got to be why they left her, but you would think they would have stayed for a while. You know, to help you out until you could get Elena settled.”
“What will I do?” he asked, his eyes pleading with her for help.
“I don’t know,” she answered.
“Could ye help me? She seems to like ye.”
Tina’s eyes went wide and he knew he had overstepped. “I won’t be here for long.” She wouldn’t look at him and began rubbing her hands on her skirt. He needed to fix this. He was going to mess everything up. He had to fix this for Elena, for both of them.
He thought he had it all figured out, but this lass was only here for a brief visit. Her sad eyes touched his heart. He shouldn’t impose on her. He was sure she would have helped him if she were staying.
“I’m sorry.”
He sincerely believed she was. There was something about this lass. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but he found himself drawn to her.
“’Tis my worry, nae yers,” he said. “Truly.”
“You’ll need to get settled and find someone who can help you while you’re doing whatever it is that you do around here.”
“I’m a soldier to clan MacKenzie,” he said, “and proud to be.”
“I’m sure that’s important. Are you away much? Will you need someone to live with you?”
“I’ll have to find someone to stay with her during the day and when I am out on patrol. What I need is a wife,” he said the words while silently denying them.
“You just lost your wife. It’s probably too soon to be looking for a new one,” she observed.
He winced at that and hoped she would think it was his grief. “Yer right.”
“Are there any older women in the clan who could take on a grandmotherly role?”
“I dinnae ken. I’ve never noticed.” He hadn’t. Why would he? He preferred the younger women and until now they’d seemed to prefer him. Once word got out about Sionaid, he’d be lucky if he ever found another woman to warm his bed.
Ashley returned with an armful of clothes. “Em’s outgrown these.” She handed them to Donal. “This should do her for a while. I’ve got the bath set up for her in my chamber.” She stood, hands on her hips waiting.
Tina rose. “We’ve named her Elena,” she said.
“Oh, that’s pretty,” Ashley observed.
“You should come with us, Donal. You’ll need to know how to bathe and dress her,” Ashley said.
Panic seized him. He didn’t know the first thing about bathing a bairn and Ashley knew it. He was a warrior, and a brave one at that, but something about his wee daughter put the fear of God into him. He felt the walls closing in around him. He needed some air. “I’ve got some work to do. If ye wouldnae mind, I’ll be back a little later.” He began backing towards the entryway.
“We’ll take good care of her,” Tina said. “Say goodbye to Da.”
Donal waved to her and then realized he was leaving with the clothes he’d just been handed. “Ye’ll need these,” he said as he handed the clothes back to Ashley.
“Don’t you want to kiss her before you leave?” Tina asked.
He had a lot to learn about bairns. He had no idea you were supposed to kiss them when ye left. He bent down and gave her a tiny kiss on her soft cheek. “Goodbye, sweetling. Da will see ye later this day.”
Upstairs in Ashley’s room, they placed Elena in a shallow wash basin where Ashley took over the bathing responsibilities as Tina watched with keen interest. Things here didn’t seem too different. She knew they’d had to heat up the water for the bath, which was not what she was used to, but there was a sweet smelling soap and a cloth for washing her as well. “Is that lavender I smell?”
“Yes. Isn’t it heavenly? We grow our own here at the castle and the soaper makes it for us. She makes an absolutely divine pine scented soap that Cailin uses. I love the smell of it on him.” She closed her eyes, inhaling as if she could smell it in this moment. “Don’t worry, I’
ll show you all the toiletries you’ll be using while you’re here. You’ll be clean and smelling sweet the whole time.”
There was a knock at the door before it opened to reveal another young woman. “Hi.” she said.
“Jenna, come in. This is Tina. She’s Elle’s sister.”
Jenna crossed the room, hand outstretched for Tina to take. “Nice to meet you. What brings you to Breaghacraig, as if I couldn’t guess,” she laughed. “And who’s this?”
“This is Elena,” Ashley answered. “Donal’s daughter.”
“I didn’t know he had a daughter,” Jenna said, “but then again there’s a lot I don’t know.” She grabbed a large cloth from the back of an oversized chair near the window. “Here, you look like you’re about done.”
“Thanks,” Ashley wrapped Elena up in the towel and handed her to Tina.
“So, tell me, how’s Elle?” Jenna asked. “We are all, or should I say were, huge fans of her music.”
“We’re still fans,” Ashley corrected. “I only wish we could hear some of her new songs.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing? She gave us a little concert here in the great hall,” Jenna said.
“That must have been nice,” Tina said, feeling for all the world like she was still living in Elle’s shadow. She thought for sure that here in medieval Scotland she’d at least get a break from the constant adulation aimed at her sister. Elle deserved it, of course, but for as long as Tina could remember people were only interested in her as long as she could introduce them to Elle, or get them tickets to her concerts. Every boyfriend she’d ever had in high school, or thought she’d had, and every friend was only interested in her because of Elle. It had frustrated her then and it still did to this day, although she was trying really hard not to let it. Now here she was faced with it again, but in a different way.
“Sara will be so excited!” Ashley said. “She’s an even bigger fan, if you can believe it.”
“Oh, I can believe it,” she hoped her tone didn’t give away her true feelings. Elle was her sister and she loved her dearly, but there was always that feeling of not measuring up. The sense that no one outside of her family really cared about her, that if she were in the same room with Elle, no one would even see her. She’d be invisible. The sound of Elena’s sweet babbling drew her back from her dive down the rabbit hole of self pity. Ashley and Jenna were focused on Elena and so it was now or never for Tina to shake herself free and join the conversation again.
“Elle’s pregnant,” she said to Jenna.
“How exciting! I’ll bet Hamish is over the moon.”
“Pretty much. He’s so cute with her. Treats her like he’s afraid she’s going to break,” she explained.
“Once he sees the whole birth process, he may rethink that.”
The women all laughed.
“Well, I just wanted to come say hi. I’ve got to go check on my little guy. He was napping, but it’s about time for him to wake up. Then we’re going to go visit a few of the village elders. I’ll see you tonight,” she said to Tina as she left.
“This is so weird,” Tina said. “I know I’ve time traveled, but meeting you and Jenna…”
“I hear ya,” Ashley laughed. “We look the part, but we bring a lot of our twenty-first centuryisms with us.”
“You all live here in the castle?” Tina asked.
“We do. It’s nice. We’ve all got each other to count on.” She wrapped Elena snuggly in the cloth Jenna had handed her.
“One big happy family,” Tina observed.
“Sounds cliché, but it’s true.”
“I like that. We’ve got a big family and we all live in the same house. It is not as big as the castle, of course. Elle and Hamish live right next door, so we’re all under each others’ noses all the time.”
“We are, too, I suppose, but it is more fun than I thought it would be. Jenna and I have been friends forever, we were practically sisters before ending up here, so it just feels right to be raising our kids together. Which bridge did you come by way of?” Ashley asked as she leaned in to kiss Elena’s cheek.
“Glendaloch.”
“That’s the way I got here, too.”
“If I hadn’t experienced it, I’d never believe it,” Tina said.
They dressed Elena in a beautiful blue velvet dress.
“Don’t you look pretty?” Tina asked of wee Elena.
“It looks like it was made for her,” Ashley said.
“Did you make this?” Tina asked, realizing there wasn’t a mall down the street to buy baby clothes from.
“I sure did. I make all their clothes.”
“Wow! I know how to thread a needle, but that’s about it.”
“If you live in this time, you do what you have to do. No modern conveniences.”
“I guess not,” Tina said. “Do you miss them? The modern conveniences?”
“Sometimes. I think the thing I miss the most is a hot shower.”
“Yeah. That would be a tough one for me.”
“I take it you’re not planning on staying here.”
“No. I couldn’t leave my family. I’m only here for the experience.” And to find my man.
Donal walked outside into the bright sunshine and stood there feeling lost. The courtyard was crowded with people rushing to and fro, but he hardly noticed them. He wanted to run, but where and why? Escaping his current situation would be easy enough, but it would hardly be the right thing to do. His head was spinning with thoughts of Sionaid, or the lass he thought she must have been, little Elena and how, above all else, he was going to get out of this mess. The lass Tina could be the perfect solution to his problem. He could see if she’d be interested in raising Elena as her own, leaving him to go back to life the way he liked it, without responsibility. Or, he could marry her. He’d have a wife to care for his daughter and a woman to share his bed. All this thinking was giving him a headache. He needed a drink.
He headed back to the barracks. He might as well get his clothes. He’d be staying in the castle. That was a boon he hadn’t expected.
“Donal, I hear yer a Da,” Marcas laughed, joined by Tam and Jock.
“I am. I dare ye to saying anything more of it.” It riled him that word had already spread to the men and that they thought his situation so funny, but he knew if it were one of them in his spot, he’d do the same.
“Where are ye going?” Tam asked.
“I’m staying in the castle with the bairn.” He knew that would get them.
“Aye?” The joy they seemed to find in his misfortune disappeared. “How long will they let ye stay?”
“I cannae say. I’ll have to find me own croft and someone to care for wee Elena.” Once again, it hit him as if he’d run headlong into the castle walls. He was a Da. Would his life ever be the same? “There’s a lass just arrived. I plan to marry her. She’ll care for the bairn and I can go about my life as if nary a thing has changed.” He had no idea whether any of that would ever work, but he wanted these oafs to believe it would.
Once alone in his room, he reached under the bed to find the flask of whisky he kept there. He needed a swig to settle his nerves. He was as fearless as they came in battle, but the thought of his wee bairn put fear in his heart like he’d never felt before. He wished Hamish were here. He’d know exactly what to do, he always did.
“Och… Hamish, what will I do?” he asked aloud.
There was no need for Hamish to be there with him because Donal could hear him now. “Donal, ye ken ye must do what’s right. The wee bairn needs a Da. Yer days as a randy bull must end and ye must find a lass, settle down and raise yer wee daughter.”
Donal knew that was what he should do, but without his old friend to make him feel guilty, he probably wouldn’t. Instead he’d focus on what needed to be done now. As a soldier, if there was a task that needed his attention, he saw to it. He might be irresponsible in the rest of his life, but he never shirked his duties. He made a mental list, find a cr
oft of his own and find a wife, or at the very least someone to take care of Elena. It was a simple enough plan, now he had to execute it. He took another long drink of whisky and eyed the chamber that had become his when Hamish left. It was small, as was the bed and fireplace that kept him warm on cold nights. A thin wooden door separated him from the other men who shared these barracks with him. One thing was for certain, he wouldn’t miss climbing over them to get out of his chamber. The more he thought about it, the more he decided that discovering he was a father was a blessing in disguise. Nothing seemed to be going right for him, but evidently someone was watching out for him. After all, he’d be spending this night and many more in a soft bed where he would surely sleep well. So, for now he’d see where things would lead him and enjoy his stay in the castle.
Tina was feeling lucky to have Ashley to show her the ropes. They’d been on a tour of the castle and Ashley had introduced her to the servants who’d be caring for her during her stay. She now felt she could find her way around with little trouble, which would go a long way to easing some of the anxiety she’d been feeling from the time she arrived. As they walked around the castle, they chatted and laughed like old friends. Tina felt very comfortable with Ashley and knew that if she were staying in this time, which she wasn’t, their friendship would continue to blossom.
“Edna said there were more ladies here from San Francisco,” Tina said.
“Two more. Sophia works in the kitchen helping Mary. And then there’s Sara. You’ll love her. She’s so fun. She’s married to Logan and she’s expecting around the same time as Helene, which means any day now.”
“That seems scary to me.” She thought about Donal’s poor wife. Being sick in this time was so dangerous. “If I ever have children, I’m planning on doing it in the hospital.”
“We’ve got a twenty-first century doctor, Dr. Ferguson. He’s from Glendaloch. He’ll be arriving soon.”
“Does he live in this time?”